And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
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next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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