I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
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people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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