I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
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All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
false alarm, still single
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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