Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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