Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize