go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
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med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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