Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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