just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize