either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize