I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize