i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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