Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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