census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize