I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
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The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
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Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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