He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize