Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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