My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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