A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize