Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize