You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize