It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
How naked do you want me to be?
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