she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
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She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
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I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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