Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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