Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Barsexuality is the new black.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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