Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize