I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
two words: eviction party
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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