I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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