people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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