Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
