Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
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Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
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I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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