I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
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lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
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I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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