Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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