I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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