I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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