No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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