Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize