theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize