How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize