when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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