Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
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Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
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He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize