In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
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Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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