I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
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