Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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