And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
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We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize