Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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