i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
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i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
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Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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