She said her name was "party"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize