I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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