i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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