he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
where am i from again
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize