do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize